I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize