soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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