So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
