what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I want to walk on stilts...naked
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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