dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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