...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
