hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
