I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
