Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
