please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize