we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
