Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize