so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
