I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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