So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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