whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
