Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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