i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
