im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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