dude i'm inner monologue high
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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