Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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