You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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