she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
