She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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