Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
