Umm I'm too high to move.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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