if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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