Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
