im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
