I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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