Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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