I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
