I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
