I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
