I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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