P.S. I can't hear my feet
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize