Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
