just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My life is pants optional.
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