If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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