boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
