Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
