Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Houston, we have a squirter
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
