It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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