Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
