Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
