Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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