dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it glows. i had to have it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
