shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
