Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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