Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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