Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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