its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
