when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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