Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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