I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize