So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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