He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
