ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
