Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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