quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize