In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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