youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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