i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
