you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
