Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
