True but thats because hes a fetus.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
