i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
