I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize