You made me cry and you don't even care
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
