you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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