we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
