i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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